Let’s just be honest… no one wants to deal with their bills right now! This is especially true for the starving artists/songwriters/musicians in Music City! I am sitting here working on my credit cards, checking my bank account balances, and planning out next month and I have no idea how I make it from here to there.
Why does money have to make the world go round!? I wouldn’t lose heart so easily if the reality of my debt and poor choices didn’t weigh so heavily on my heart. I hate that I have to walk around on a daily basis worrying about money and if I am going to have money for gas or food.
Let’s just talk about this month, by the time I paid my bills, I had barely enough money to last for 25 days until the next paycheck. I don’t have health insurance so I definitely can’t afford to get sick. I don’t have a back up savings account so my recently paid-off, 5 year old Honda civic can NOT break down. Most days I feel like I am treading water and barely keeping my head up. Maybe that is why I can’t sleep at night…
Why am I doing this? Why don’t I just go home like my mom asks me every time I call home crying? Because even here, with next to no money, I am closer to being who I am meant to be than any where else. Because compared to the lows that my money and circumstances take me to, the high of creating, singing, and experiencing amazing music is like none other I have ever felt in my life.
So it is times like this, when I sit here wondering how I will make elbow noodles and popcorn into an interesting meal, that I have to remind myself about the music and the purpose that God himself has designed me for.